Mike Martz set to coach season finale with a tinfoil hat.
St. Louis Rams coach Mike Martz continued his erratic behavior today, vowing he will wear a tinfoil hat during this Sunday’s game versus the Jets.
“I think the Jets will have a spy plane fly high over the stadium and read my thoughts with invisible laser beams,” said Martz. “But my tinfoil hat will deflect the beams and allow my cranial database to remain uncompromised.”
Martz said he created the hat out of a roll of tinfoil that was manufactured before the Cold War began. “All tinfoil and aluminum foil made after then has little microchips implanted in it to allow the communists to read your thoughts,” said Martz. “But I only use pre-Cold War tinfoil in my hats.”
“I think Mike has pretty much lost his mind,” said running back Marshall Faulk. “I honestly hope we miss the playoffs so he can go get some psychiatric help.”
“They’re all out to get me – the media, Chris Mortensen, Kyle Turley. They want to shut me up before I tell the world what I know,” said Martz. “But I won’t let them. I will be victorious””
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