Liberal Bullies

In his typical "liberals against the world " (or "Conservatives are the enemy", you pick) rant, Bill McClellan's latest article tries to figure out why conservatives are so angry. Of course, the first question you are probably asking yourself is "huh, I thought the liberals are angry, not the conservatives" and you are right, for evidence see any article written by any MSM columnist after the election, or check out people claiming they are going to move to Canada, or check out any recent protests... But I digress...

Anyway, Billy Boy goes on in the article to suggest that it's because the conservatives were bullied in grade school by the big bad mean liberals. Here is a nice quote:

"I have a question," the young woman said. "The conservatives won. Why are they still so angry?"

That is a question to which I have given some thought. I have concluded that the anger of some of these middle-aged conservatives has its roots in childhood. Back when we middle-aged guys were kids, liberals used to be bullies. They were the tough kids. The conservatives were the bookworms. Also, the cheerleaders....

A few paragraphs later after discussing how Dubya and Trent Lott were college cheerleaders, Billy Boy mentions:

How best to describe those days? Well, imagine a playground. On one side, you have the liberals. They're throwing footballs around. On the other side, you have the conservatives. Maybe Trent and George are working on some cheerleader moves. "Watch this, Trent! I can do the splits! Wheeee!"

So dear reader, I again imagine the question you are asking yourself is "Huh". Sure Bill, (with a slight twinge of sarcasm) Liberal jocks, conservative nerds... yeah, that seems about right... Bill goes onto to try to make his point:

Then the boys grew up and the Vietnam War came along. The liberals enlisted. The conservatives scrambled to find ways to avoid the war. Danny and George had their folks pull strings to get them into gold-plated reserve units that weren't going anywhere. Rush got a letter from a doctor saying he had an inoperable cyst. The other fellows found other ways out. It wasn't that they weren't patriotic, it was just that, as Cheney put it, they had other priorities.

So to recap, Bill is saying those great liberal, bully athletes were enlisting in Vietnam while all the conservatives were running from it. I was not alive during Vietnam, but I do recall seeing something on TV once about war protests, draft dodging, hippies, etc... I guess those were all the conservatives. So here's Bill's conclusion:

You see, it's hard to get past childhood fears, and that's what my young caller didn't understand. There is no reason to be angry at the fellow in the SUV. Behind that snarling middle-aged countenance is the face of a scared young boy, afraid that the liberals are going to chase him home. When we talk about that conservative anger, I blame the liberals.

Bill's opinion in this article in a nutshell: Liberals are bullies, conservatives were weak kids and are now angry as a result.

My opinion of Bill's opinion:Now I'm guessing this article has to be tongue in cheek, because if Bill is being serious, he's finally lost it. If the conservatives are afraid of the liberals chasing them, it's because they might, try to blow up our SUV because it uses too much gas, or wait, that could hurt the spotted owl, what a conundrum...